I forgot how hot balto sounded
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
