that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
How does it feel to date your dad?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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