Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
