I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
