I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
