I'm drive I can fine osifer
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
i will never coherently bang her
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
