I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
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