oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
