A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
