hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
