we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
