if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
