According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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