Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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