How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Randomize
