this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
now i know why i became what i already was.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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