He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
