Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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