3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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