yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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