Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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