Where is the hickey?
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
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