i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
