are you still at the devil's house?
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
