I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
