I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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