Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
