I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
