Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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