for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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