Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
