sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
