Small penises have feelings too.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
He? As in you personified your dick?
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Randomize
