you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize