garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
