You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
