So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
