why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
