btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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