she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
