Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
She announced her abortion via fbk
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
