theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
