Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
