Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
babies were throwing up all over the place
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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