I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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