I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
there was a trapeze. enough said
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
