I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
