Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I am naked and annoyed.
Randomize
