how can u be prego again
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Randomize
