Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I think I sprained my soul last night
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I deserve this hangover.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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