I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
