oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Randomize
