Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
