Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
