if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize