My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
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