The maid of honor just puked.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
