I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
