youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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