I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
