Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
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MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
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Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
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