What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Randomize
