I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
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