Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
