Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
