Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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