Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
