soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize