its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
