You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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