My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
