please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
