Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
